im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
