This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
