Swine flu is the new snow day.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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