If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Come on in and take your pants off
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