who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
