Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I want her autograph on my taint
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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