: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
