he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
