we're blogging at a bar
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
