Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
