I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
