I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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