weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
