i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
