another moral hangover. fuck.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize