This girl is more easily done than said...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
