You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
