We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
