You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
