do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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