at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
