yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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