mondays should just be called national damage control day
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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