it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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