your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
