There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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