Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
