Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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