omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
