Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
