She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sobbing to NWA
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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