On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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