I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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