Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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