holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
