addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
