Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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