Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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