The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
