I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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