Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
