I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
