So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
