So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
