he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
