you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
whose parrot is this?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
