Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
