Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
