OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
