I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
smell my finger.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
