sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
