when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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