Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
