Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
