It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
