Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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