Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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