All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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