Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
