So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
